Tips for Making Your Mother Daughter Relationship Solid

My Mother and I had a relatively good mother daughter relationship when I was growing up. We had some struggles, no doubt, and we still do, but for the most part I know that I can rely on my Mother for anything. She and my Daddy are my greatest alliances in life.

Building a solid relationship with your daughter when she is young will ensure that your relationship will be good through the teenage years and into adulthood. I didn’t have a daughter until I married my husband who has a daughter that was 13 years old at the time. I tried desperately to build a relationship with her, but so far I have failed. I wish I would have had a chance before she got set in her ways. I am heartbroken by her rejection.

Things that seem to have some effect on a mother daughter relationship…

My step daughter loved to go shopping, to go out for lunch, and she liked to have sleepovers and movie nights with me and her friends. Doing these things together seemed to help our relationship.

In reviewing my experience with my Mother, I feel that spending quality time – one on one – with your daughter is the best way to create a solid, trusting, unbreakable relationship with her. Get to know her friends and what is important to her in her life and share it, while also sharing what is important to you, and of course, biblical principles.

Activities of interest…

If your daughter is young, you may find the concept on mother daughter tea to be of interest. Little girls love to have tea parties. Teaching her to throw one also has many teaching possibilities and it is clean fun with positive interaction between mother and daughter.

When the girl is older, hosting “girl’s night” can be a lot of fun and open the doors to relationship building conversations. At the same time, you will get to know her friends and get some pointers on what matters to them.

If you have (or had) a bad relationship with your own mother…

You might benefit from reading a book by H. Norman Wright and Sheryl Macauley titled Making Peace with Your Mom. Relationships with your own parents do have some affect on your parenting skill. Take care of any conflict with your mother daughter relationship between you and your mother.

Making Peace with Your Mom: Steps to a Healthier Mother-Daughter Relationship By H. Norman Wright & Sheryl Wright Macauley / Bethany Is your mother-daughter relationship a painful one? Perhaps you've lost your mother through death, divorce, or abandonment. Just as he did in A Dad-Shaped Hole in My Heart, Wright blends true-life stories, biblical wisdom, and professional experience into a soothing balm that will offer hope, restore your joy, and point you to your perfect parent - God.

Need some comical but real to life inspiration?

Help! I’m Turning into My Mother by Becky Freeman Johnson, and her mother, Ruthie Arnold is a must-read. It is revelation of relationship changes experienced by many mothers and daughters. You will find the mother daughter relationship shared in this book to be inspiring and down to earth.

Help! I'm Turning into My Mother...With a Few Quirks of My Own By Becky Freeman & Ruthie Arnold / Harvest House Publishers "Because I said so!" How many times have you repeated that to your kids? When you were a child, how often did your mom proclaim the same thing to you? In Help! I'm Turning into My Mother . . . with a Few Quirks of My Own, Becky Freeman takes a hilarious, loving look at the relationship changes between mother and daughter, while her mother, Ruthie Arnold, chimes in to keep her daughter honest. 200 pages, softcover, Harvest.

Now back to YOUR relationship with YOUR daughter…

Nancy Wilson developed an audio book titled Mothers and Daughters: Growing Into Wise Women Together. It is a great teaching for mother and teenage daughter (or mother and grown daughter) to listen to together. Quality time is essential to a good mother daughter relationship.

Mothers and Daughters: Growing Into Wise Woman Together AudioBook on CD By Nancy Wilson / Canon Press As daughters become teens, they begin to transition in their relationship to their mothers-from child to close friend. Sound surprising? Nancy Wilson describes the joys that come as mothers and daughters grow as sisters in the Lord, encouraging one another to embrace biblical femininity. This practical four-part series cultivates a high view of a woman's calling and canvasses a broad range of topics, including what it means to live nobly, the importance of being quick to listen, and the wisdom of not taking things personally.

Girl Talk: Mother-Daughter Conversation on Biblical Womanhood is also a great book to read with your daughter. It is designed to improve communication and resolve conflict to improve the mother daughter relationship.

Girl Talk: Mother-Daughter Conversations on Biblical Womanhood By Carolyn Mahaney & Nicole Mahaney Whitacre / Crossway Books & Bibles Blending wisdom from the Word with their own life-together experiences, the authors discuss God's expectations for the complex mother-daughter relationship. Learn how to speak the language of biblical womanhood, improve communication, resolve conflict---and, above all else, share the gospel with each other. Designed to be read together. Includes study questions and discussion topics.

Problems with your Mother-In-Law?

You might benefit from Annie Chapman’s wise biblical advice in her book The Mother-in-Law Dance: Can Two Women Love the Same Man and Still Get Along?

The Mother-in-Law Dance: Can Two Women Love the Same Man and Still Get Along? By Annie Chapman / Harvest House Publishers The mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship can be a difficult one to negotiate. However, when each person begins to see each other’s perspective, life begins to look less like a boxing ring and more like a dance floor. Read through the firsthand experiences of author Annie Chapman and apply biblical precepts to help bond and overcome differences. You’ll probably discover a new friend.

Every relationship does matter and your relationship with your mother-in-law can be just as important as a mother daughter relationship.

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